I think that your web site is amazing!

I was in a porn-addicted marriage for 9 years. I commend you for your fight against pornography. I swore to myself while I was getting tested for STD's, (after finding out that my husband had been cheating on me for several years), that I would do anything to bring down the PORN industry!! How humiliating that was for me, a faithful wife and member of my church!!

I dove into a lot of information regarding pornography after I learned of his addiction and unfaithfulness. I found him wrapped so tight with this animalistic addiction, that he had nearly drown by then - and I suffered from physical demise related to his cheating.

After coming up with courage to stand up and let out the, "secret," of what was really going on - so many women came to me with a similar problem. I was astounded at the number of women who worked next to me, and went to church every Sunday, who was struggling with addicted men!!

I was more startled that nearly every story gave the same text-book description of the addict's actions, temperament, lying, cheating, money problems, family problems, etc. (Your web site supports this.)

Coming from the medical profession, I could see that this porn bug had an incubation period where it would lie dormant for a while, then exacerbate. The addict's actions would exacerbate during the active state of the porn bug's flare-up.

If you read into the psychology of addiction in general, you can see the porn addict also. Porn is a TRUE mental, physical, and chemical ADDICTION INFECTION. It bites people before they are addicted.

If we can immunize against the porn bug's effect (by having a resistance already built up in our minds and bodies) we will decrease the likeliness of active infection. I believe that the immunization is EDUCATION. Like many other diseases, it is better to seek out the immunization early, than try to fix the disease after it has taken its silent toll (as the addict will remain maimed from past damage).

As secrecy breeds this bug, we need to shout louder than the corners of our homes, to educate of the filthiness and horror of pornography use. This is where I believe we need to start in fighting the porn industry.

Labels: addiction, adultery, depression, distrust, emotional pain, family, lies, Overcoming Addiction, pornography

I have been married a little over 2 years. I am "considered" beautiful, I get hit on a lot still....but I hate myself, my body, I am insecure, and I am insecure in my marriage. WHY?

I wasn't this way when I first got married. My husband seemed perfect, I thought I knew everything about him. Only 9 months into our marriage he told me he'd been looking at porn, It so didn't seem like him....I laughed and said "are you serious" (honestly thinking he was joking). He was serious, he said it was only once, he wanted to tell me right away and it wouldn't happen again. I respected him for coming and telling me, but I was devastated too....I told myself and my mom...this would never happen to me. You see, my mom didn't want me to turn out like her.

My dad was a sex-aholic, he cheated on her a lot, was into porn, everything. And my dad actually had a good heart and was a good dad...but as many other men, he got sucked into the spiral addiction of sexual things promoted in our society, it became a real addiction.

I saw it ruin my parents' marriage, and ruin my dad's soul and sense of self worth. My dad really ruined his life by having sex with ANYONE, and one lady recently wrongly convicted him of rape when she couldn't deal with her own guilt of having sex outside of marriage (something she had never done).

So my dad is prison due to sex addiction and bad choices, I found out also when I was 15 that my little brother had been looking at porn and had become very depressed. He saw himself falling in my dad's steps, and he wanted out...but he was also addicted. After looking at porn he'd feel so awful about himself, he became very very depressed and very very suicidal. Yet, he couldn't find strength to quit looking.

After all I'd been through with my own family, It was hard to believe my husband had been looking at porn. He even said "it has nothing to do with our sex. Our sex is great. And you are great, you are beautiful, it has nothing to do with you. " But if you put yourself in a woman's shoes....how can she not take it personally. You try to get all beautifuled up every day for this man....we were having sex twice a week or more, something he suggested and I made priority because I loved him and wanted him satisfied sexually as well. Yet, he seeks out other bodies on the internet and lusts after them?

Also, after he first told me, for months after that he claimed he hadn't looked again, and even accused me of being too paranoid so therefor, I might ruin the marriage. Yet, one day I snuck up his parents stairs as we were there late one night and he thought I was asleep...this was 6 months after he first told me, and I was scarred to see naked disgusting images on the screen. I have never shaken so hard. I fell to ground. MY stomach wouldn't stop churning.

It was sick...it was so sick to me and so painful... those woman weren't me....it was so hurtful beyond description. And worst off, he'd been lying, of course, all those months when he said I was just "paranoid."

Since then he's been working on his problem, but hasn't been honest with me completely, still! And though he distances himself from computers and we do not have internet, he will stop into bookstores when he should be working to look at magazines that have soft porn, like Maxim and Stuff.

Many addicts lie about their problem so they can continue to feed the addiction. They become addicts and liars. Though we have worked on our relationship and things have improved a lot... there are still days I feel paranoid and worried of what else my husband may or may not lie about. I can't trust him or myself because my mind churns worrying about what he could be doing. This isn't what marriage is supposed to be.

I don't believe my husband foresaw this happening either, this wasn't in either of our plans, yet many MANY marriages and relationships suffer this. Porn and addiction is sweeping over our society and the media lets it all in. Families and hearts are being torn to pieces.

This is not a pity story for me - Goodness, my story is among THOUSANDS, if not MILLIONS. I've read many stories already. Its a scary, scary epidemic in our society, and it is truly ruining women - whether you are the naked woman in the picture, who has totally desensitized herself, or demeaned herself, or your the woman on the other side who's family and marriage is falling apart. Sad...sad......sad....I hope my marriage makes it. Thank God we haven't had kids yet.

Labels: addiction, adultery, brothers, depression, devestation, distrust, divorce, emotional pain, everyone is affected, family, fathers, honesty, internet, lies, pornography, sexual addiction, spouse

My story begins 4 1/2 years ago when I met my current boyfriend. He was 37 at the time, and married, and I was only 19. For whatever reason, being young and naive, I agreed to having an affair with him.

Two months later, his wife found out and they subsequently got divorced. For 3 years, I didn't know he had a secret life. We had frequent arguments over anything and everything and I occasionally had thoughts of leaving him, but I always stayed.

It wasn't until just over a year ago that I realized that he was turning to pornography every time he felt "rejected" by me. Last March I confronted him after realizing he was sending money orders via internet to women who would perform in front of a webcam for him.

He denied everything and became upset that I would even think he would do such a thing. Two months later, I caught him again, doing the same thing, and he finally admitted to it. He said he had been "scared" before and was afraid I would leave if I knew that he had spent nearly $1,000 on these women.

I was devastated and tried to leave, but for whatever reason, I decided to stay. In September, I caught him having erotic chats online and I moved out for a couple days. But for whatever reason, I returned and our relationship went right back to the way it was.

He was convinced he had his addiction beat and he would do anything to keep me by his side. It only lasted a month...and I started realizing he was at it again--viewing porn and having erotic chats. I pretended I didn't know, pretended that I could ignore the problem...but 3 weeks ago I started packing my stuff. I couldn't take it anymore. He was viewing everything from bestiality, to incest, to pictures of young children in bathing suits.

He told me that everything I had saw was just out of curiosity...but I don't believe him. Yes, I'm still here, but we are not "together" right now. I am seeking counseling to help me with my self-esteem issues and give me the courage to move on.

Labels: addiction, adultery, pornography, prostitution, spouse, unfaithful